The Second Battle For The Heaven's Fence
The events which I had predicted a year ago are all happening. Now we shall see how this will all end. Do you remember how our forces clashed at the battle for the Heaven's Fence? We left there bloodied and bruised for they caught us from behind and literally stabbed us in the back when we weren't looking. Now, man your own jackhammer. Man your own battlestations for we had produced our newest weapon to aid us in the war against the Supreme Tri-Mage F'Lemario - the LHC.
The LHC or the Large Hadron Collider works by accelerating matter at particle level and firing them at speeds that rival the speed of light.
But the LHC is useless without a perfect battleplan.
We shall eliminate the towers that surround the fortress of F'Lemario for they are the ones which provide the Tri-Mage with power. Wether they do it on their free will or not is unknown but we don't really care. We shall destroy them by working from the front in direct contrast to his tactics because I perceive that F'Lemario had strengthened the rear guard for the Tri-Mage is paranoid that the tactic in Heaven's Fence be used against F'lemario. We shall surprise it by deviating clearly from it's expectations, it's greatest fear.
In silence we shall strike. We had pulled all our resources into this assault and as F'Lemario emphasizes on power rather than stamina, we shall not put all our assault power in one blow. Instead, we shall continuously barrage the towers with our artillery force and the LHC and while the towers are recovering and reloading their weapons for the next battery of attacks, I will deploy my Automated Response Mechanism Squad (ARMS) inside the structure to blow it up. F'Lemario's towers will collapse from the inside and when the towers are all destroyed, I shall personally accompany you to the Tri-Mage's tower to accost it and do whatever you fancied to it. Then, I shall have it's head.
I need your support and vigilance, for the Tri-Mage's spies may be upon us.
As the ultimate expression of oneness to this war, I shall personally supervise your actions in the battlefield.
Sincerely from my blood machine, Inferno.
(Based from In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth III)
~An allegory from current events.
The Second Battle For The Heaven's Fence
Radical Audio-Visual Experience
I want to learn to rave. FYI, RAVE means Radical Audio-Visual Experience and it was devised as a protest to mainstream music. It began in the 1980's and it utilized primarily electronica and acid house music. There was even a time when these rave parties were hunted down because they became the venue for drug deals, involving mainly ecstasy, meth, speed and ketamine.
Glowsticking. It's what I would like to learn. It is done by holding a glowstick (obviously) and sometimes, a LED is held between the fingers and the arms are made to "flow" with the music. It's basically going with your own rythm and your supposed to have a disconnection to your body and make it move as it wills. Which is release, which I need so desperately right now.
I almost lost my temper six hours ago. I had no money, yet it was still demanded from me. I had no money, yet this is what is needed for me to be "in". I had no money, yet I found the money to go on a feeding frenzy on which I ate everything I fancied.
I did not care about them, nor about the "in" thing but food - I love it.
Damn, if this temper thing continues, I'm gonna get fat.
Radical Audio-Visual Experience
Random thoughts...
Oh, there's this cockroach the other night, now he's in the trash bin. I am now gonna tell you how he died.
I spied him for an hour, crawling harmlessly around the house and being exceptionally well tempered yesterday because of what had happened a few hours ago, I decided to spare this roach my wrath. While studying, I ate my dinner and set it down in the sofa and I proceeded to make a telephone call that would shake the very foundations of accounting. Seriously.
Okay, back to the topic - cockroaches. After I had made my call, I smelled the scent first and I uttered my battlecry - Fee Fie Foe Fum! I smell cockroach scum! (just like the giant in the giant beanstalk thing...). I saw it crawling on the surface of my favorite sofa and I immediately shook the sofa vigoriously to dislodge the foul critter but he won't budge. I proclaimed in a loud voice "Thou shall then receive the celestial punishment of God!". I got out my favorite cockroach extermination tool - the walis tingting. I brought it over my head and swung it in the direction of the roach and splat it goes! I had misjudged the velocity of my swing and left more mess than I anticipated.
I got out my tissues and bleach. I retrieved the carcass, disposed of it and sterilized the floor.
There was this girl and I don't know if it was done intentionaly or not, but she did something I could misinterpret as an action that would convey intimacy. It gave me something to think about, and how I wish that it would give her something to think about too.
The girl that I so vehemently raved about saying she was like a wild animal or something has recently done something irredeemable. She had associated herself with "those people" and therefore thrown our supposedly blissful future days into oblivion. She had also chosen someone who has absolutely no moral fiber and someone who had recently moved in with them. Why? Why? I had been with them from the start and yet this certain someone could sweep them off their feet with his amazing slutlike powers and for this I seriously doubt his mental health.
Walang hiya ka jo-mas eto na nga lang kaligayahan ko aagawin mo pa sa akin... Sige dun ka sa mga nasa paligid niya pero kapag nangahas kang kunin ang para sa akin ay makakatikim ka...
And as an afterthought - thanks to mara leen chua, who is an avid fan of this journal. May you achieve whatever you are longing for. May the stars watch over you and God supplement you with His Divine Strength.
Permalink
I’m writing this because I am desperately trying to keep
myself from going out of the house and smoke. It’s because I need to
concentrate on the tasks I need to perform and besides cigarettes, writing is
the only one that would take my mind away from the distractions that pester my
puny little mind right now.
Owing to that awkward incident which I will further
elaborate further, I had made some calls and acknowledged the fact that what I
did was indeed awkward and not something I should rant about but this is the
only way upon which I can rid myself of that feeling. So suffer, O one who is
unfortunate enough to go across this entry...
The reason for all of this is that I just made a fool of
myself in front of a person I barely know. I didn’t mean to say those things
but I am just looking for an opening so that this person may be able to talk
freely. But there are still barriers that surround that mind. I can see an
opening once in a while but I find it hard to preserve that connection on which
we connected in such a way that if I let go, it would be lost forever and I
have to build up the pressure again so that I may again find that elusive
opening.
It’s all about the timing. Maybe it was thrown asunder by
the fact that we were engaged in such things that hinder us from the
conversation but I still believe in the fact that that person might have at
least thought in passing that it was very kind of me to do so. Even if I was
very inarticulate with the right words which would have gotten the job done
wonderfully, the gist of it might have remained in this person’s mind. I hope
that this will not result in the belief that I had evil/romantic intentions
that might result in the repetition of history in which I was rejected but did
not bother to close it properly so here I am, still waiting...
The only thing I can think of right now is how I can make up
with her and how I can pass that crappy exam tomorrow.
Who is she? Reply with the correct answer to this question
and I will grant upon you the forbidden knowledge of her name: Who the heck is
pierce lostarrot?
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I was half asleep while writing this shite. Promise.
I was sitting down in a class when a professor touched a topic in which I was quite adamant about. He hinted a kind of communism in both material and spiritual planes and I went to get this paper and so begun the mental gymnastics in order to prevent myself from falling asleep. It was a sociology class and he discussed the solidarity of man. Following are the thoughts that crossed my mind:
Unity of Man - complement each other for no man is perfect. The problem is finding the correct person to correctly "mesh" with your imperfections.
- each being has a purpose and fills in the great "Celestial System" that keeps the order in the universe.
A.) Therefore, is the "Common Good" impossible? Because man initially serves his own purpose. Sharing is a short term success for we all have our place here in this fucking universe. As it was said - "Humans who cross over to their boundaries invite more than death. They deserve total annhilation!" Everything will have to figure itself out for it's purpose.
B.) Therefore if man could become a perfect being with the knowledge of the "Common Good", we could fulfill the so-called utopian society. (As an individual in the basis of perfection.)
As some answers will question still, here are the questions posed these conclusions:
1. What if there is no solidarity? Someone has got to rise above others and you can't simply descend to the mediocre level that everybody is on. Acting more stupid than you really are is unhealthy.
2. If perfection (Refer to B.) is another way to say complementation, therefore humanity can be perfect, speaking of the humans as a whole. If everybody will find their place in the natural system of the world, then we could eventually refine and refine our life until such time that we become perfect.
3. One of the concepts of Christian Solidarity is alleviating the gap between the rich and the poor. Is this leading to communism?
Oh okay. I just asked the professor and he said that it pertains to the social relationship, not the economic status. But economic factors are one of the factors that influence the rift between the rich and poor and one has got to do something about it if one wants to close the rift.
Also, closing the gap can lead to the balance of economic status and the labels of "rich" and "poor" will be removed. And isn't one of the christian doctrines "Give to the poor" contain ideas of communism? Say, everyone will give to the poor. If one would take this seriously, you would give all of your money and leave only what is sufficient for you.
Suppose everybody does this, what will you have? Balance and a healthy cycle of economic resources.
Oh my God. I think Jesus was the first economist and at the same time a communist.
I was half asleep while writing this shite. Promise.
Black nazarene something...
Personally,
I think their devotion is absurd (pertaining to the black nazarene
devotees). Does being flayed to the very inch of your life prove
something? Yes, it proves you are faithful but it also proves you are
more than willing to give up this life for the next one. And from that
statement we could further draw the conclusion that you don't like this
life.
What is it that makes it the opiate of the masses? Is it because of
the divine promises that man cannot simply fulfill or is man simply
projecting his hopes and desires into something that is abstract; for
if you project your hope into something concrete, you could immediately
see the effects while if you project it into something which requires
faith, you need to die after you can prove that all your faith is
worthwhile.
I have nothing against religion because I am a devoted catholic but
going to that extreme is way too... extreme. What just ticks of my
nerve is that the endangerment of human life. Human life is way too
important to be wasted into pointless show of faith - I know that some
of the devotees there only want to show others they are devoted and
here comes again the conformity principle: they are showing they are
devoted so that others will question themselves "Why are there people
like that? maybe I should be like them?" Sure there's nothing bad with
good influence but going over the edge and crossing into the spiritual
plane sure is a damn bummer.
Black nazarene something...
Okay. I am sitting in the computer laboratory in UST and I am listening, rather feigning interest, in the topics that the people around me are discussing. It's because we are currently undertaking a course on powerpoint and we are presenting topics of our interest. I will present an overview on symphonic metal which discusses the elements of this genre of music. This is my interest and unfortunately (or fortunately?) it is not a shared interest. I can say that in this class of 40+ persons, I am the only one indulging in this type of music because I don't subscribe to the bullshit pop culture sells them. With all their mediocre topics I think they will never listen to me.
Okay. So I am sitting here, wasting my time, waiting for my turn that will probably never come this day because they are taking too much damn time. One girl ranted about her friends and indulged in whatever the "Vain and Insane" indulge in. Fucking vanity consumes their minds and I don't know what I'm writing I'm so fucking annoyed about what they are saying.
One girl discussed her 'beautiful' friends and her 'beautiful'(?) self. Another did the same. The next one discussed her frustrations and her beautiful self. The next one discussed a trip to some far off place which was her LTS (Literacy Training Service) trip and her beautiful self. And all of these were accompanied by pictures which portrayed their ideas of cuteness.
This is like elbowing past in a crowd of mediocrity where everybody wants to keep ahead of you but they simply lack the ability to do so. So they convince everybody that they are better just so they can retain the image that I will destroy. (Oh shit there's this girl boasting about her fucking vanity. Then there's this side comment - "Parang magpapaalam na ha!" (It's like you're saying goodbye!) and how I wish that I could reply "Sa Wakas!!!" (Finally!!!"))
Now, back to the topic. As I was saying a while ago, they are conforming to mediocrity. It's like it's this image that everybody will accept so they subscribe to it but I really don't know if they really understand the gravity of their decision - why conform when it seeks to lower your standards and restrict your abilities? Why conform when you can rise above? But rising above will isolate you because of the fact as everybody is aspiring for mediocrity.
P.S. I read a very beautiful quote on a book The Man in the Tree - "Being a freak is Nobility because not everybody can be one." If this is true therefore I am a Freak. Again, I don't know what I'm saying - I am so annoyed I can't concentrate.
The sweet poison of what?
Currently,
I am writing a stream-of-consciousness story concerning drug use and
all the hallucinations that the character is feeling. Now, I'm rounding
the rough edges and making it ready for the grand unveiling.
I was thinking what title I should give it and all I could think of is Destrado, such sweet poison and it refers to the Destrado, which is the self-destructive impulse and also, the urge to destroy everything around oneself.
Well, about the bastard of a girl who I met at CPK, she was
redeemed a bit in my eyes because of the things she said to me when we
talked late into the night a few days ago. We met at Starbucks in ATC
and over lattes we discussed various views concerning her beliefs. At
one point, she said something totally unagreeable and I said:
'Well,
I can't blame you for the ideas you have gathered and we were brought
up in entirely different circumstances. Therefore, I won't force you to
like me by lying and saying that we have the same ideas and making you
think that we are compatible. Take me as I am if you will...'
On which she replied:
'You know, you are one of the most unbiased, truthful and straightforward person I have met in a long while.'
Fuck. Is that great or what?
The sweet poison of what?
The most comfortable thought I had in years...
It's been two years since I accepted the Body of our Lord Jesus Christ
into me, two years since my last confession and God knows how many
years since I had last felt something rippling the surface of my soul
with such force that it still resonates within at this very moment.
I am overjoyed to see that this YFC thing has wreaked some havoc into
the blackest moment of my life. Havoc in terms of flooding it with
light and filling me with a peace I have not felt for almost four years
now.
But I know that this peace is fleeting for I know not to delude myself
that this will last.
Retreating into a corner with false illusions of
security could make one weak when the illusion is shattered by
something real and from experience, a shattering illusion, especially
of security, is a stab at the back. It fucks you up real good, and you
begin to lose trust at all. You become paranoid and retreat into what
you could really trust - yourself.
But beside all this false security thing and the thought that all this
is fleeting, I'm still thankful that I had become involved in YFC, for
it gave me new options on how to move forward in the raging river of
time. But my river will not diverge, shall not change. I stand by my
earlier ideals. I will deviate, even if rejection follows.
The most comfortable thought I had in years...
Let's hope she won't read this...
Ok. So this bastard of a girl went and invited me for lunch. I thought it was very sweet of her to do so, considering all of her "excitement" to finally meet me, because she's something of a fan of mine because she is impressed with the way I think. Oh, she likes the way I write too. She even bombarded me with text messages as she was already in the venue, the most fucking expensive restaurant I had ever had the disadvantage to be in, CPK.
When we finally set eyes on each other, I realized that this was the type of person whom makeup does not agree but one puts it on anyway. She would've been very beautiful if she hadn't slathered her face with powder.
So, what if she's a bit taller than me? What if she looks like a chimay on her day off? That's no issue to me. But this girl (no names to protect her privacy bullshit) suddenly projected an air of urgency and rushed everything. Sure, she said it was very nice to get to meet me finally but one questions her sincerity. Urgency? We sure had no urgency when we talked online. She then eats her order up with the slow speed of a starving wolf ravishing lamb flesh. She leaves, with a packaged ready-to-use excuse and went out the door. And back out into the society she had so violently rejected.
Usually, when I meet girls like them, I shrug my shoulders and say "Well, her fucking brain stem must be broken... Must bring along my flamberge next time..." But what really pisses me off is that we connected when we were talking online. I felt that we had something in common - a growing hatred for the behavior the society is forcing us to eat. But then, she goes on ahead and eats it whole by solely relying on the external senses, exchanging the temporary to the eternal, the immutable to what "flows".
I think she was intimidated by my knowledge and went along with me, just so that I would perceive her as someone who has weight in this world. She subscribed to the ideas that I showed her and when it came to the test - a test that I passed without breaking a single sweat, she had suddenly realized the dedication it requires, the endless mental conditioning to achieve a detachment from the so-called "Ideals" that the society had fed to her since birth.
She had failed miserably. And for her, I weep.
Let's hope she won't read this...
Don't buy Vista Security
